Wolves

Marriage requires us to be selfless. Something that is not part of human nature. When we are selfish in a marriage, things start to crumble around us, and marriage becomes miserable, and both partners are unhappy, feeling like their needs haven't been met. 

Elder Bruce C. Hafen addresses this in a talk he gave in 1996. It is titled "Covenant Marriage", and in it he talks about three wolves that are bound to visit every marriage. The first being natural adversity. Things aren't always going to be perfect. That's just not how life works. Things are going to get hard, and ugly, and annoying. But it is how we handle the bad things that will make our break a marriage. 

The second wolf, is the wolf of their own imperfections. We all know we aren't perfect, so the people we marry aren't perfect either, no matter how much we want them to be. Do we hold them to a higher standard than we do ourselves? If you said yes, is that fair? And how do we correct that if it is happening? Pick your battles, and remember that love is always the answer. If something has to be talked about, bring it up with love and understanding. 

The final and third wolf is the wolf of excessive individualism. When you marry someone you agree to become one with them. You are better together than you are apart. Yeah, you'll probably drive each other crazy occasionally and need your alone time, but its important to remember to spend time together doing things you both love to do. We need to remember that we NEED one another. We can't make it where we want to alone, and even if you could, how much fun would you really have getting there ALONE? 

Life isn't meant to be easy. Marriage isn't easy. Kids, are not easy. But, it is worth it. Having someone to spend life with, even though you sometimes want them to leave you alone, is worth it. Keep the end goal in mind when things are hard, and most importantly DON'T FEED THE WOLVES.